


Calum Hood is MUKE AF

by hemmingshoodie



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 5sos groupchat, M/M, Pointless, dont read this lol, i was bored, really stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2014-12-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 07:08:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2764220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hemmingshoodie/pseuds/hemmingshoodie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Calum: I HAVE HAD IT UP TO THE CEILING WITH YOU AND LUKE. SOLVE YOUR ISSUES YOU DUMBFUCKS AND THEN GET TO THE MAKING OUT PART.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Calum Hood is MUKE AF

**Author's Note:**

> Abigail Breslin should write a song about me.

Calum: guysssssssss

Calum: luke

Calum: mike

Calum: ash

Calum: bitchachos where u all at

Luke: hi cal

Michael: yoooooo

Ashton: O.O we'RE ALL IN THE SAME ROOM RN W TF

Calum: we are???

Luke: lol

Michael: calum ygm

Luke: omfg guiz hav u seen channing tatums clavicles??? *heart eyes emoji x4*

Michael: DF

Michael: I DONT STARE AT PEOPLES CLAVICLES I STARE AT THEIR BOOBS

Michael: OR THEIR DICKS

Michael: nOT THEIR CLAVICLES. BRUH YOU MAD?????

Luke: no homo but i would suck channing tatums dick if he asked me to

Luke: nvm i am a homo

Michael: O.O

Calum: OMIGOSH LUCAS ROBERTO HEMMINGS

Calum: WHTA

Calum: luKE

Luke: it's robert not roberto btw

Luke: (: i am gay

Michael: knew it from day 1 *smirking emoji*

Calum: LUKE ALNFBEJNSLJSNS

Calum: this is nEWS TO ME

Calum: ASHTON DO U HEAR THIS

Ashton: YAS

Ashton: LUKE

Ashton: WHEN DID U FIRST ACKNOWLEDGE UR LOVE FOR DICKS???

Calum: deeTS PLZ

Michael: am i the only one whose not surprised o.o

Michael: ??

Ashton: luKe

Calum: lucASS

Luke: i realised in Year 9 :-P

Michael: ...

Calum: ...

Ashton: ...

Calum: anD YOU TELL US NOW?????? AFTER ALL THIS TIME??????

Ashton: O.O LUKE IT'S BEEN YEARS.

Luke: i had to make sure you guys wouldn't disown me.

Michael: LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Calum: AWWWWWWW LUKE

Ashton: yOU'RE A RETARD LUCAS

Ashton: YOU ARE OUR BABY

Ashton: wE CANT DISOWN U

Michael: -________- bruh

Luke: lol guys ilysm

Luke: except Michael :-P

Michael: fuck u

Calum: ILY TOO LUKE

Ashton: WE LY LUKE

Luke: i feel so loved *cute smiley emoji*

Michael: i dont love you

Michael: bc u a bitch

Michael: nd btw channing tatum wouldnt let u suck his dick

Michael: channing tatums dick is out of ur limit

Luke: smd

Michael: thats calums job #cake

Luke: ???

Calum: stfu MUKE AF *cool emoji*

Ashton: *laughing emoji*

Luke: ahem

Luke: the only dick i will suck is channing tatums tvm

Ashton: *picture of channing tatum zoomed in on clavicles*

Luke: *heart eyes emoji x7*

Michael: so luke has a clavicle fetish

Michael: i thought calum was the weird one in the band????

Michael: LMAO

Luke: bitch purleese

Luke: you wanna suck the milk outta ariana grandes titties

Luke: dont u call me weird

Ashton: guys we're still in the same room lol

Michael: luke that's inaccurate

Michael: im also gay

Calum: WTAG

Calum: ALDEJD

Ashton: OH MY DGEJFUCKING GISH W TF

Calum: mUKE

Luke: thats a lie

Luke: bruh

Luke: serious??? *eyes wide emoji*

Michael: ...

Michael: lol i love these reactions.

Michael: ive been gay since about a week ago

Calum: ABOUT A WEEK AGO WEEK AGO

Ashton: aBOUT A WEEK AGO WEEK AGO

Luke: *laughing emoji*

Michael: you guys aren't over that yet????

Michael: ffs

Calum: back to what i had been tryna sayyy

Calum: mUKE

Ashton: MUKE AF

Michael: ew no

Michael: nO

Luke: michael r u implying that im unloveable*single tear emoji*

Calum: SEE U MADE BABY CRY

Ashton: lol we're in the same room doe he aint crying *laughing emoji x2*

Michael: i'm just a little bit outta ur limit soz

Luke: fine michael i see how it is

Luke: hey calum wanna go out

Luke: hey ashton wanna go out

Luke: ???

Calum changed subject to "MUKE AF"

Calum left.

Ashton left.

Michael: oh god *facepalm*

Luke: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ILY CALUM ASHTON

Luke: LMAOOOOO00O

Michael: i dont like u

Luke: i like u doe

Luke: :-(

Michael: lez be real

Luke: ...

Michael: you and i hated each other in year9 and tbh i still sorta hate u up until now bc youre a bitch

Michael: and

Michael: you

Michael: are

Michael: gay

Michael: and have been

Michael: since

Michael: year9

Luke: ily too mikey :-))

Michael: ???

Luke: that was clearly a declaration of love

Michael: wut no

Michael: i just told u ive hated u always

Luke: yes ofc i will marry u

Luke: aww bebz

Michael: ALDVEJNSNSUESHDG

Michael: bYE

Michael left.

Calum created group "BITCHES SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS FFS ALJKAWAPPAH"

Calum added Luke

Calum added Michael

Michael: calum tf

Michael: calum u srs

Michael: wtf

Calum: I HAVE HAD IT UP TO THE CEILING WITH YOU AND LUKE. SOLVE YOUR ISSUES YOU DUMBFUCKS AND THEN GET TO THE MAKING OUT PART.

Michael:

Luke:

Michael:

Luke:

Calum added Ashton

Calum: ash help me out here

Calum: they won't hurry up and make out ive tried everything

Calum: i even left them alone in the group chat

Ashton: muke

Ashton: muke clemmings

Michael: wut

Luke: *eyes wide emoji*

Calum: guys

Calum: we know ur in love

Calum: dont lie

Ashton: ^^^

Luke: k

Luke: michael ily

Luke: michael ily ily ily

Luke: i wanna kiss u rn *kissing emoji*

Michael: oH

Michael: no lie?????????? *surprised ghost emoji*

Luke: no lie

Luke: can we kiss plz

Michael: come here bebz

Luke: omfg yas

Luke: *really big smile emoji*

Calum: finally

Ashton: thank ze lord

**Author's Note:**

> None of that made any sense but eh.
> 
> MUKE AF.


End file.
